Hi sissy! :3 Hi mommy!!!!!!!

I love you guys ^_____^ Oh how I love you. I would do anything for you guys. You kick butt ^___^ I love you.

While I'm loving you, look at this:

http://nightmarebeforechristmas.net/fanstuff/fanart/1870

I love you both ^___^ And I'm going to graduate soon, and it's Christmas soon... gosh darndit, SOMETHING is coming soon and oh mah gawd. I'll never ask for anything for the rest of my life; I don't want anything for Christmas and I won't expect anything for graduation at all.

PLEASE ONE OF YOU LOOK AT THIS AND CONSIDER THE AWESOME ;-; Did I mention I love you both? ^_______^

Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of love,

-Chi <3

Two updates in one day? Wow. I needed to rant.

I'm sitting here watching the DVD from my last spring concert. I'm happy with it because it actually came on TIME this year, and because my tap dance and ballet dance went over VERY well considering I'm in the older classes now and people actually know what they're doing. However, as I'm watching this, there's an undeniable fact I can't ignore.

This ballet studio has changed a lot since I joined two and a half years ago. I remember my first recital with them; I was happy to just be a wood nymph. I had a pretty purple costume with green scarves that would make all the other ballerinas ooh and ah when our class went by. We had a nice two minute long dance with only about a thirty second solo from Clara who was half our size anyway. Very good time for a beginning class. In spring concert we had a good three and a half minute dance only dominated by a ten second solo that went to our teacher who deserved it greatly. We did the Nutcracker in the winter, and Swan Lake in the spring. People loved it. Every dance was ended with thunderous applause, no matter what the skill level or age of the dancers onstage.

I noticed the change at my second winter concert, just a little under a year ago. I was excited to be a flower. I'd seen the Waltz of the Flowers on the first year DVD and was excited. Every flower had a huge part, and there was no solo. I couldn't belive it, a whole six minute dance and no solos!! I was excited about learning it. However, upon starting rehearsal, that idea changed. She taught us thirty seconds of the dance. Thirty seconds. Then she sent me and a big chunk of my class to the side. It was four rehearsals later before any of us got up to dance again. Why?

Our teacher was busy teaching two soloists and four more advanced girls from our class their part of the dance. I felt a little weird. I'd never been in a dance where I was offstage for so long. But their were 3 minutes left in the dance... so I took a deep breath. We'd probably get in the rest. The day she taught me and my friends our next part of the dance, she put us onstage for another 15 seconds... then we were offstage again. This was the night I came down from the studio and cried as my parents drove me home. My mom told me I should talk to Miss J.

Miss J, did indeed come and talk to me. It was not my place to tell her how the dance should be coreographed, so I told her that I felt like our teacher believed some dancers in the class to be better than others, and treated us accordingly. That she wouldn't even let me and my friends ATTEMPT the things the other girls in our EXACT SAME CLASS were doing. Miss J told me that this was because she was personally training each dancer at her level. I didn'y buy it, but I had to get to jazz class and this was going nowhere. (Yes, jazz and tap. The only dances I've been in that had NO SOLOS.) So I went back to class and tried to put on a smile. "Every ballerina deserves the spotlight once in a while" I kept thinking to myself. "I'm going to be happy for the soloists because I'd love to be in their place." So I tried for the next few rehearsals to be happy for the girls who had by now, taken up 5 and a half minutes of the dance. Yes, these girls were not off the stage for more than 30 seconds of the six minute dance.

In total, my friends and I had a minute and 30 seconds of stage time and only a minute and 10 seconds of dance time. Far less then any beginning dance I had ever been in. My first time doing Wlatz of the Flowers was nothing short of saddening when it was supposed to be incredible.

A minute and ten seconds. For the 90 dollars a month my parents spend and the eight dollar each tickets they bought for the whole family, for all the rehearsals they drove me to, all the time they gave up getting me ready for the recital, they got to see me dance for a minute and ten seconds. I was embaressed. I felt like I'd made my parents give up much more than what this whole thing was worth. Dancing is my passion, and I love to perform, but dancing in the living room is free.

I decided again to take a few deep breaths. My parents bought me a beautiful rose and I was off to Disneyland the next day. This was enough to make me feel better. There was also the promise that Spring Concert would be much better.

Wrong again.

Spring Concert is what I'm watching now. My second spring concert ever. Only a year ago, it had been done SO differently. In only a year, we've turned into a soloist company.

It seems to have become that our teacher are only concerned with them looking good. Keep in mind that we are a BIG studio. There are a great deal of "good" dancers here. There are some I look at and wonder why they don't get chances to prove themselves.

Indeed, solos are a good thing to have in a recital. The nutcracker wouldn't be the same without the russian dancer or the spanish dancer. There would be nothing to aspire for without a chance in the spotlight. However, as I watch this DVD now, I'm noticing a patten. The sae six dancers are in EVERY SCENE. No, that is not a hyperbole. It's not exaggerated. EVERY SCENE. There were five beethoven sonotas... One of the dancers was in ALL of them. The others were in the other four. Me and my friends returned for another overshadowed dance. We got ONE of those sonotas, the shortest one, Fur Elise. Dominated by a 45 second solo. Even while we're dancing, in fact, the soloist got to dance something different in front of us, takin away from us completely, in the end giving us one minute of alone dance time. After all the beethoven sonotas, four of those same six dancers had another dance all to themselves. Yes, they got a solo. They got MANY solos. And yet, they still felt the need to slap a solo into our small, two minute chance to shine.

I would also like to say these solos are going to good people. It would be a lot easier to feel happy for them. Of those six dancers, only my old teacher Miss Annie and Andrea are really nice people. One of these dancers in fact, is WAY on her prima donna ballerina high horse. She cried last year because she said they were making her do too much work, yet she continues to believe she is the SNOT. (No. Miss Annie is just as good if not better than her.) I'll never forget when she was blocking the whole FRIGGEN HALL, and I had to get by to change for my next dance. I said excuse me and she didn't listen, so I tried to squeeze be to which she goes "Uh hello, hand in the way here?" to which if I hadn't been so shocked by such behavior coming from a BALLERINA of all people, I would have responded "Get over yourself."

Our class is not the only victim of this soloist stuff. Peter and Wolf consisted mostly of beginning dancers. Dancers that NEED this stage time to they can learn how to act, improvise, and express emotion on stage, and to get used to performing. EVERY DANCE IN PETER AND THE WOLF HAD A SOLO. From those same six dancers, no less. I came out after my sonota to watch the rest of the dances from the hallway. Glancing over the audience, I could see them getting bored. I can only imagine from seeing the same six dancers in every single dance doing the same thing that WAS impressive the first five times. The beginning dancers got maybe 30-45 seconds each. During which, the soloists were overshadowing them the whole time anyway.

Solos happen in a COMPANY. This is a STUDIO where you are teaching me and preparing me for the performing part of dance. This is not me feeling sorry for myself. I don't care if I ever have a solo. This is me feeling sorry for anyone in this studio who is not New York Ballet Company material. I'm not even saying I want one of these solos, I'm saying I'd LOVE to see them go to someone other than the same six dancers over and over. We are the future ballet talent and we're getting no recognition. The favoritism at work here floors me. Does anyone else notice that two of these six dancers went to ballet class with the owner when they were little and happen to be her best friends? Does anyone notice that all six of them have taken over every dance of our recent recitals?

There are many pointe dancers in this studio that will make you guys look good. There are many DEMI-pointe dancers who've never touched a pointe shoe that will make you look INCREDIBLE. A dancer with heart and a glowing smile looks better to the audience than a prima donna on pointe with an emotionless expression. Just because you've started advertising our recitals doesn't mean you should change how the studio operates.

You should seriously reconsider how you're running this studio. Soon it will catch on that 90$ a month for a few seconds of stage time overshadowed by solos is not worth it. Soon the moms will see the A Dancer's Dream, Let's Dance, and Arizona Ballet Studio give their dancers chances. I was ready to go to the U of A for the first two years of college simply so I could stay near this studio. I can tell you right now I will be switching studios after high school. I'm done playing this game.

I seriously hope someone in this studio thinks about this. It's getting old and she's going to lose a LOT of customers. Myself included.

-Chi <3

Yes. I'm alive. And I haven't updated. Because I've spent my summer guiltlessly being lazy. But here ya go; an update! :3

Uh, too much happened... We went to Georgia which sucked. Both airplane trips there were pretty miserable considering I forgot my meds and had a mini panic attack on every plane ride. (FOUR!!! Can you believe that?! Two four hour flights and two half-hour flights in a rickety commuter plane with sudden drops second only to the friggen Tower of Terror!!) I'm gonna have to be whacked on the head with a heavy stick when we go to Europe. Sixteen hours in the air? I think I'm gonna puke. But anyway we got there and the house was bloody HUGE. The only thing I think is worth mentioning is the theatre room downstairs. If I lived in thath house, I'd never leave that room. I'm prepared to say the screen was about the size of a theatre screen at the cheap seats.

The whole thing's a blur. All I really remember about the trip is riding in a boat, (and promptly falling asleep in it at daybreak. C'mon you guys, boating from 10:00 to 6:00? Give it a REST!!), getting KFC for dinner one night, trying numerous times to talk to Squish and trying to get Conrad to shut up about "I MISS J00 COME BACK LOL :3" ever five seconds, getting cow slobber on me at the animal park, (Yes, as a future Animal Rehabilitist, I'm fine with animal slobber. Though I doubt much slobber is going to get in my face, I won't be working with cows, and I won't be in the rickety rental van from HELL, complete with flies on the floor, mysterious gunky substance on the window bars, no air condition, and nasty seats and floor. Can you imagine miss Lysol-freak in this bus? Feeding the animals was cool and all, but it would've been nice with maybe something other than livestock and ostriches threatning to peck your eyes out for food.), and then watching movies with my Cher-bear the last night. (By this time I was so done being flexible. I picked out MY favorite movies and asked her which ones she wanted to watch. She fell asleep by the Tigger Movie, which was nice because it's my favorite, and she wasn't talking during the whole thing.)

Sadly, I spent a LOT of the time competing for my own mother. (I can understand if the kid doesn't get a lot of attention, but for the love of god, she's MY MOM.) Mom was nice enough to help me look from my Over the Hedge pillowcase at the Wal-Mart we went to the first day (all out :( ) and bought me some dance pants for ballet. (Mom still doesn't like the idea of really short jean shorts over tights. She really should see Miss Vikkie or Anna dance sometime ;) )

Ooh, and I got stranded with Cher-bear and her father at the glof course. In a golf cart. At night. Cher-bear had to SCREAM to get him to put on the brakes when we were about to go over the edge and plummet to our possible deaths :3. I personaly thought it was cool. It was dark, there were lots of fireflies, and you could hear the frogs croaking. It was like real-life Pirates of the Carribean. Of course, her father had to throw a royal fit and bark orders at Cher-bear, so it kinda ruined the moment.

Mom decided next time that money is going towards a trip to Disneyland and I totally agree. (Remember that subliminal message post anyone?) I've become more of a babysitter for Cher-bear than a guest in that house which is driving me nuts, and I didn't have too much fun. (Really, I think I wanted to go because I wanted to go to Six Flags. (Which never ended up happening.) Me and mom'll just go to Magic Mountain instead.) And it was awesome to be home.

San Diego went a lot better. We had fun, Don was a perfect little gentleman the whole time, and we got to go to Sea World TWICE. AUGH!!! It ruled. Here's a fun story about that though... The second day, I'm walking out of the Dolphin show. These people behind me are splashing each other. I don't care. (Yes, they were specifically told to keep their nasty hands out of the Dolphin's water, but they don't care cause they're stupid like that.) Then, I get splashed, and I get splashed GOOD. I mean, this is like, COLD, maybe 30 degree water. Again, not too big a deal. It's Sea World and people WILL get wet, and i'm even wearing my bathing suit and a pair of shorts. However, instead of a sorry, I get a LAUGH. I've never bene more pissed. And when people are idiots, I enjoy helping them learn their lesson by embaressing them. So I started talking to mom nice and loud about it. Mom talked nice and loud right back.

I know it worked because they felt they had to defend themselves. And pathetically too. "Don't splash in the water!" she says in a mocking voice. Oh noes, mah feelings is hurt!!! D= She even went to go tell her lil friends about it because it was apparently the highlight of her day. I'm amused that a 17 year old animal-lover of my shy nature managed to get this older girl so frustrated she had to pretend she was on top. HOWEVER, none of it matter ten years from now when I'm IN that dolphin water performing, and she's in the stands watching alone because hey boyfriend dumped her two weeks okay. Booya.

I'm gonna have to take anger management before applying there. Many insults and threats to feed tourists to Shamu will fly when people will unavoidably being acting like morons.

So we got back a week ago and I begged dad to take me to Cars. (Daddy takes me to every Pixar movie; I think the only one we really missed was Monster's Inc. when I was visiting my sissy and she took me instead.) It kicked butt. Even Daddy loved it cause he was gushing to mom when we got out. What an OPENING too dude; I think the music contributed to it a lot. It opens with Sheryl Crow's "Real Gone" and it REALLY makes the opening sequence look that much cooler. I don't think it's worth buying the WHOLE soundtrack, cause all I'll listen to is Real Gone and Life is a Highway. (Both of which I bought last night and am listening to right now.) But seriously, if you haven't seen Cars, go see it. It's Pixar at it's friggen BEST.

-Chi <3