So I hear it all the time, right? Temptation is bad, don't do drugs, don't drink, don't make an idiot of yourself for no reason. Temptation has never been something that applied to me. I have no desire to drink alcohal or do drugs, and peer pressure makes me laugh.

Now lemee tell ya something, Veggietales is a faith strengthener for me. And a source of entertainment. Rarely is it a learning tool, just a reminder to keep true to stuff I've already learned. I think I actually learned something from Larry-Boy and the Bad Apple though. Now I was raised by good parents who taught me what I need to know, so I avoid situations that may involve temptation, so I'm not used to handling them.

Stephanie wrote and wanted to know if I wanted to go out tonight. I was really excited cause I love going out at night; just happens to be when I have the most energy and I'm most excited and eager to do stuff. I had to pester her to tell me where we're going, and when she finally did, she said we could go now. So I get excited again, and then ask who's driving. She said she was.

This is where the excitement goes POOF. I said I couldn't go if an adult wasn't driving, and she said "I AM an adult." I said she knew what I meant and she promptly called me a party pooper. Now that's not what made me wanna go, she can call me that all she wants. I just really love hanging out impromptu.

I asked if there were any adults that could take us instead, and she said no. I was a little ashamed that I actually sat there for a minute or two, wondering if there was a way I could go without letting mom know who was driving.

Then I realized, I shouldn't be ashamed. Because the point is, I didn't go. Every human being has to sort out their thoughts before making a decision, and that was jsut me sorting them.

Yea, I could tell mom a grown-up was driving and go out and have fun. And it really does suck that I didn't get to go. But the point is, I will live another day to hang out again, when there IS an adult. I'm not that kind of kid. I was raised right, and I have my principles. And as dissapointed as I am that I don't get to go have fun, I'm proud of myself. Because 80% of my school would not make the decision I did on their own.

So what if I didn't get to hang out... that's what college, friends, and the bus service will be for ;) And that's a BIG deposit in the personal bank account. I may have missed a little fun, but I'm a better person, and I am gauranteed not going to be in a fatal crash tonight. That's more valuable than a night at Golf N' Stuff methinks.

-Chi <3

Tuition, die. Just die.

Scholarships can die too.

Any money requried for college can just die.

Yea, nothing really happened to spark this except mom said we need to sit and discuss if I can afford to go next year.

Just die, tuition. Do it.

-Chi <3

Okay, I watched the world's greatest skit ever today. Go to youtube sometime and search for "IRack" It's the greatest satire I've ever seen in my life.

Here's the sad part. At the end of the skit, Apple announces their new product: "The IRan". I did think this was hilarious, but not before I felt this overwhelming fear rise up in my chest. That's just sad. The very word "Iran" scares the crud outta me.

An Iraqi soldier visited our class the other day. I asked him if he thought Iran might use their weapons on us if we started messing with them. His response was "we took that risk with Iraq too". My blood just BOILED when I heard that. I think it's sad that I have an overwhelming fear of getting the crap bombed out of us. There was an airshow last week and the very sight of a non-commercial airplane had me gripping the side of the car, slouching in my seat, and tuning out whatever my mom was talking about. That's no way to live, especially in a place like America. And I don't care what party you are, you can't deny that it's Bush's decisions that got us where we are now. (It IS. He's commander and chief of the army, that's just FACT.) And I guess I'm just super-irritated that his decisions have led this country into a position in which I'm scared to death of airplanes and I am genuinely worried everyday that we're gonna get bombed.

Honest to god, it's not a concern I have, it's a fear. I am honestly living in FEAR of being killed because of a stupid war.

I appreciate it, Mistah Bush.

I really do.

-Chi <3

There is a crap-nasty virus going around Arizona, and its apparently news-worthy. (I have it, yay for me!) Everyone and their grandma is sick, the citizens desperately scramble to find any way possible to delay having to turn on the expensive air-conditioning, and the town is quickly plauged with grasshoppers.

Yep, it's definitely Summer again!

Now someone elsewhere might take this opperunity to say "But it's still springtime!!" No no. Here, Winter begins in December, Spring begins in January, and Summer begins in March. And Summertime in Arizona is a magical time when disease runs rampant, grasshoppers multiply like Math Olympiad students, and the humming of fans trying to ward off the impending doom of having to turn on the air conditioning are heard for miles. And I don't get away from that magic for another six months. Yippee.

Well I woke up this morning feeling like a worn-out pile of crappy magazines. My throat hurt like a mother, my nose was stuffed, and my headache was friggen pounding. I vaguely remember mom coming in saying she was gonna leave for school and I did... something, prolly nodded, and went back to sleep. Must not have been long though cause I was up at eight and couldn't get back to sleep. I got a cup of tea and spent pretty much all morning reading Sailor Moon fan fiction on mah laptop. My joints were starting to ache by 11:30 so I had a nice hot bubble bath. (And jeez does that do WONDER on your joints.) I pretty much just read some more (all there really was to do considring how I was feeling) and checked SDSU aid link. (No luck yet 9_9)

I did this layout last night in my boredom ;) I couldn't get to sleep so I made this. Holy crud was it ever a pain in the butt to do too. I had to redo every picture at least once and the coloring was hard as heck because of Sailor Moon's yellow hair, and because pink is a pain in the butt to make. Blue and purple can be done in like, two seconds but pink... It took me 45 minutes just to color the background. I like the change in palete though :3 It's about time thig blog had bright spring pastelle colors instead of all the dark tones. (Pretty, but time for a change.)

I was also thinking today that when spring break is over, it's one week to April. That means it'll be 6 days to Disneyland, 18 days to my birthday, and ONE MONTH to graduation. Holy crud. I'm so excited. There's so much fun stuff coming up.

I hope =X Mom won't tell me what's going down for my birthday for fear I'll be dissapointed if it turns out we can't afford it (SO WILL NOT XP) and I'm totally worried I'll have rather gone to Castles and Coasters =X We'll see. (And I'll be grateful no matter what it is of course :3)

Busy busy busy.

-Chi <3

To start, I'd like to say thank you to the friend of my parents who left that nice comment on my college acceptance post :) I really appreciate it!

Now on a less happy note, tuition can roll over and die. My parents are working so hard to save up money, I'm applying to every friggen place that's hiring employees, and I got my FAFSA back today.

Now FAFSA doesn't give two shaved beavers about how much my parents are paying off in student loans, all they care about is our income. So they're only letting me take out a ridiculously small amount of money.

Hey... thanks! And thanks to Bush too, who is all about Americans getting a good education!!! Cause I'm sitting here wondering how I'm gonna GET ONE with the ridiculous fees I'm charged! ^_^

This is when I started to get mad. There's hardly a scholarship on Fastweb that isn't for minorities, handicapped people, or people living inna trash can. I know ones for good students are OUT THERE, but they are very few compared to the others. Every scholarship I look at I am confident I can make it, and then BOOM: "based on financial need". Yea, that means my parents income, not their debt.

I am SO SORRY I am not disadvantaged in any way. Sorry that my parents make a comfortable living, that all my limbs are in tact, that my family didn't die in a war. These awards SHOULD be offered, but there need to be MORE SCHOLARSHIPS FOR NORMAL KIDS. I am a normal kid who is an AWESOME friggen student. I am a National Honors Society 'A' average student with a 3.8 accumulative GPA who passed the AIMS test the first time and whose SAT scores were way above the national average, and I apply for several scholarships every day.

And I haven't gotten ONE.

Because I am a normal student with no disadvantages. My disadvantage is that I HAVE NONE. Seriously, better rights for the average kids who are GREAT STUDENTS.

My parents are crazy-generous though.

Dad wants to take money out of his retirement fund to pay for my college.

Guilt-trip anyone?

I tried to talk them out of it, but Dad insists that mom has a retirement fund of her own, and that he doesn't need it anyway. (And that I should take care of them after college so they're not eating cat food ;))

Anything for you guys. Anything.

You can live in my house, yell at me for never flossing, and insist I keep the fish and ferrets in a room where you can't see them. You'll get the best room in the house, with a view of the Mission Bay docking area, and you can eat the last zebra cake in the pantry whenever you want. I'll obsessively clean myself after spending long days working in Shamu's fish house so you never have to smell fish, and I'll take you to work with me so you can pet the flamingos and penguins. I'll drive you to Seaport Village every Friday night and leave you guys alone to have romantic walks on Cabrillo. I'll drive you to Gus's every Saturday and buy you all the pizza and cheesesteaks you can eat. And whenever I leave a room, I'll give you a big hug and kiss and thank you everyday that you've made my dream come to life.

It's not often a person gets to live their dream, and it's especially rare for the parents to put this much into it.

I guess I'm just lucky like that ;)

Thank you is a poor choice of words to express my gratitude to you guys.

I love you.

-Chi <3